Why are there people who have the ability to connect with others and communicate to an audience so well? Why do some people gain the trust and confidence of others quicker than others? Why do some salesmen have the ability to convince people that they have a product worth buying? I know that there many answers to each of these questions, but I am going to focus on just one that I think is important, but it is easily overlooked. The answer that I am referring to is the concept of complete congruence. The word congruence means agreement, harmony, and compatibility.
We as humans have several aspects to our being. We have a mind to think with. We have emotions and feelings. We also have a voice, a face, and a body that can be used to express what we are thinking and feeling. When all of these aspects of our being come into agreement with one another they are in congruence with one another. This is when our outward expression is demonstrated in a manner that is authentic, real, and genuine. Without congruence, we may come across in a mechanical manner where we are just going through the motions of acting in a way that is expected of us in a given situation, but the heart felt sincerity of the moment is missing. There may be a sense of uncertainty or lack of emotional engagement that we express when our thoughts, emotions, and outward expression are not in alignment with one another.
Jesus was Genuine and Sincere
When the bible talks about Jesus in the book of Isiah 53:2, it says, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” If it wasn’t his beauty or majesty that attracted people to him, then what was it about him that attracted huge crowds of followers? I know that Jesus performed miracles and did signs and wonders, but in addition to this, I believe his thoughts, feelings, voice, words, face, body language, and his actions, always worked in agreement with one another. This enabled sincerity and genuine love to flow from him and people could see it. There was nothing about him that appeared to be fake or phony. On the other hand, there were people who didn’t trust him and they were often the true fakes and phonies that didn’t want to be exposed.
God wants his Holy Spirit to flow out of us without any blockage that occurs when we are not in complete congruence with ourselves. If one part of us is doubtful or out of agreement with the Spirit within us, it stifles that flow of the Spirit. When all of parts of our being are in congruence with one another and with God, the Spirit of God flows freely from us and we produce a true expression that others can sense.
Congruence Between Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength
There are several aspects to congruence and there can be different types of congruence. Congruence can come in the form of authenticity, transparency and sincerity within our personality. There are is also an aspect of congruence where we are in agreement with God and are doing his will from the heart. The bible never uses the word congruence, but it does say, “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, and with all of your mind, and with all your strength” (Mark 12:29-30). In other words, your whole being should be in unity in regard to your love for God. This unity among the various parts of your being is the idea behind congruence.
The opposite of a person being in congruence in their love for God would be someone who goes through the actions of love and obedience, but their heart is not engaged in what they are doing. A scripture reference for this is Isaiah 29:13 which says, “These people come near me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.” We as people can often spot sincerity or insincerity, and God can spot it far better than we can. He knows when there is congruence between the heart and the expression coming from a person’s mouth and actions.
Congruence and Faith
Congruence also plays a part in faith. Faith in God is simply knowing that what you desire is in agreement with what God desires and vice versa. If we are in agreement with what God wants, then either he will act on our behalf or we will on his behalf to do what we both desire because we both desire the same thing. If there is inner conflict over what God’s will in a certain matter, it creates doubt and uncertainty. We end up vacillating back and forth between two points of view. As soon as we move towards one point of view, the opposite point of view begins to disagree, and if we move the other way, the other point of view disagrees. Having more than one viewpoint over God’s will causes lack of congruence between our mind and our heart. As humans, we often face times of confusion and uncertainty, but through prayer and seeking God’s will, the Spirit of God can lead us and bring into a state of certainty where the different parts of our being are congruent with one another.
Congruence in Following the Call of God
Another form of congruence comes in the form of following a specific call that God has placed on your life. If God calls someone into the teaching profession, but they choose to be a doctor in order to receive more prestige and make more money, or please family members, there is a lack of unity between the way God designed that person and the job they are doing. If you haven’t read the section on convergence under the “unique purpose” part of the menu on this website, it would be helpful because convergence (not to be confused with congruence) occurs when there is agreement between passions, abilities, experience, and the role that a person is doing in a job, task, service, or ministry.
People who operate out of congruence are the ones who are most likely to be themselves and to stand up for what they truly believe. They will often have more initiative and more persistence because they are sure of what they think, believe, and feel, so that they don’t hesitate, back off, or quit. The Apostle Paul knew what he thought and believed about God and about what God called him to do. He did not waver in his calling or his belief because each part of his being was in congruence with the other parts. He didn’t let his emotions pull his mind and heart away from God or God’s will. He used his mind and his heart to pull his emotions into congruence with the other parts of his being and he stayed true to God.
If you want to be successful and effective in regard to what you do in life, it helps for you whole being to be in agreement with itself, and it helps even more if all of the parts of your being are in agreement with God. It produces boldness and straight ahead vision that keeps you on the path to your destiny. Congruence makes you believable, trustworthy, confident, and genuine in the eyes of others, and it allows your personality and actions to freely flow, rather than to be stifled with uncertainty.
Congruence Expresses the True You
Do a check on yourself. Ask yourself whether or not your mind, your emotions, your voice, your words, your body language, and your actions are in agreement with one another. If you find yourself in situations where this is not true, then try to identify what is causing the lack of agreement within yourself. Is there a fear, a doubt, an uncertainty, or just a lack of desire in regard to what you are doing? All of those things can cause a lack of congruence within yourself which will prevent the true expression of the unique person that God created you to be. God designed you to operate best when you are being yourself, as that’s who he created you to be. Don’t let the treasure that God created you to be remain hidden. The world needs the real you that God designed, and the real you will only show up when you learn to operate out of congruence.
You must be logged in to post a comment.